I knew, just by looking at the DVD cover, that this could be worth a laugh.

 

Turns out, this may very well be the worst wrestling-related video ever –- and I’ve seen “The Jesse Ventura Story” and “Ready To Rumble” before!

 

From the minute they air a lame “WWE’s lawyers tried to stop us from producing this, but we don’t give a crap” disclaimer (which, really, isn’t far off the mark from their phrasing, although I believe they quote The Rock in theirs), you know that this is going to be a deeply-scandalous look at Vince McMahon’s evil empire and its seedy underbelly.

 

Only they never really manage to quite accomplish that. Even though the narrator talks in a menacing voice, re-telling the story of Vince McMahon’s early days that you could get from reading the book “Sex, Lies and Headlocks” or the DVD “McMahon”, he never really tells us what’s so evil about the guy.

 

Now, because they don’t have access to the vast WWE tape library, the visuals consist of: (a) two musclebound goofs mugging for the camera, and occasionally spitting out a liquid that looks kind of like whatever Gangrel used to spew, (b) stock footage that any college student might have come across in his or her Documentaries 101 class, and (c) matches from the old American Wrestling Federation (if you don’t remember it, you’re probably not alone) -- none of which has ANYTHING to do with WWE.

 

Oh, and there are also various grunts and screams placed strategically throughout the soundtrack for no apparent reason, other than pissing me off.

 

They also get several facts wrong, odd considering they even interviewed the author of the co-author of “Sex, Lies and Headlocks” (Shaun Assael), whose book was, by all accounts, accurate and well-crafted. For example, did you know that Bret Hart lost the WWF title via pinfall during the 1997 Montreal Screwjob? Or that WWF changed their name to WWE in 2000? Me neither.

 

Crystal Entertainment Group, the makers of this documentary, speak to such noted McMahon-bashers as Tito Santana, Vince Russo and former WWF Hardcore Champion Bobcat (um, who?), none of which say anything all that bad about their former boss.

 

All they’d have had to do is track down, say, Shane Douglas and I’m sure they would have had ample Vince-bashing. The only person who really takes a stab at Vinnie Mac is Eric Francis, the Calgary Sun columnist who helped write the book “Broken Harts”.

 

Shockingly, the death of Owen Hart is the only crime against Vince McMahon these people can justify. That’s strange because, ask virtually any Internet fan and I’m sure they could come up with a list of five to ten legitimate points of their own.

 

Not that I know WWE’s legal department that well (they’ve only sent me one letter this entire time), but I’d have to imagine that they’d be laughing their asses off if they were to watch this.

 

Not only does the documentary fail to discredit Vince McMahon’s empire, but it almost tells the viewer how great McMahon has been at building up his company.

 

The only things I could imagine they could sue the documentary makers for would be the brief interviews they somehow snagged with Candice Michelle and Chris Masters (it looks like they were done at a personal appearance or something).

 

Oh, and did I mention there are NO bonuses on this DVD? At less than an hour in length, you’d figure they’d give us something (e.g. an entire interview with Tito Santana, or some of the AWF matches they obviously had access to), but there’s nothing.)

 

Overall, avoid this one at all costs!