WrestleMania's Biggest Losers
(Originally published March 28, 2011 and updated for 2014)
WrestleMania is just around the corner (it's just a figure of speech; don't literally look around the corner for it, dumbass). With that in mind, I thought this would be as good a time as any to look at the many, many losers that have competed in it.
Let's face it: not everyone out there has an Undertaker-like streak going for them (actually.... no one else does). But some competitors have seen more than their fair share of canvas when it comes to The Showcase Of The Immortals, while others have been less than impressive on The Grandest Stage Of Them All.
To wit:
Tito Santana
Tito Santana has really done it all in this business. WWE Hall of Famer. Intercontinental Champion. Tag Team Champion. King Of The Ring. And let's make no mistake about it: they don't give you a spot on the biggest show of the year on nine separate occasions if you suck.
What I'm calling into question here is Chico's ridiculously poor track record on the biggest show of the year. Sure, he had two wins, but they're not exactly much to brag about: Beating The Executioner (Playboy Buddy Rose under a hood) would only be considered a big deal if your name was Iron Mike Sharpe or Ricky Ataki.
And while Papa Shango was no slouch in the voodoo department.... you have to remember that the only people to even see the match were in the arena that night. Contrast that with seven losses, each one more humiliating than the last. I can kind of understand why Rick Martel turned on Chico when he had the chance.
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
1 The Executioner Win
2 Terry and Dory Funk Loss
3 The Hart Foundation and
Dangerous Danny Davis Loss
4 Demolition Loss
5 The Brain Busters Loss
6 The Barbarian Loss
7 The Mountie Loss
8 Shawn Michaels Loss
9 Papa Shango (dark match) Win
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
22 Rob Van Dam, Shelton
Benjamin, Ric Flair, Bobby
Lashley and Matt Hardy Loss
23 Mr. Kennedy, Edge, CM Punk,
King Booker, Jeff Hardy, Matt
Hardy and Randy Orton Loss 24 John Bradshaw Layfield Loss
25 CM Punk, Kane, Mark Henry,
MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi
Kingston and Christian Loss
26 Battle Royale (dark match) Loss
Finlay
It's hard to blame Finlay for this one (or most of the other wrestlers listed here, for that matter, as they're pretty much all given instructions on what to do beforehand).
For the most part, he's been stuck in matches that he had no chance of winning. I mean, three Money In The Bank appearances? Really? Buddy probably can't even climb a ladder to fix the roof at his age; never mind to grab a briefcase suspended from a flimsy cable. Same with the dark match battle royale. I'm pretty sure someone flips a coin beforehand to decide who gets the 'honor' of winning what will, at best, be an extra or the Mania DVD a few months later.
But in the one match where The Man They Called Fit probably should have come out on top... he didn't. At WrestleMania 24, Finlay challenged JBL to the dreaded Belfast Brawl. This was Finlay's specialty match -- to him, it was just like the ones they have on the mean streets of Ireland every day!
Did The Belfast Bruiser win his own specialty match? Er... nope. JBL simply beat the crap out of him with a garbage can lid, and then punked out his snot-nosed kid for good measure. Way to shine, Papa Finlay!
Ultimo Dragon
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
20 Chavo Guerrero, Shannon Moore,
Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Tajiri and
Akio (Cruiserweight Open) Loss
Now.... being 0 and 1 isn't a terrible track record in itself, and you have to consider that he was competing against many other top cruiserweights. And Funaki.
But the reason Ultimo Dragon appears on this list has nothing to do with the match result. It has to do with his botched entrance at WrestleMania XX:
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
16 Edge & Christian, The
Dudley Boyz (ladder match) Loss
17 Edge & Christian, The
Dudley Boyz (TLC) Loss 18 Billy & Chuck, The APA, The
Dudley Boyz Loss
23 Mr. Kennedy, Edge, CM Punk,
King Booker, Matt Hardy, Finlay
and Randy Orton Loss
25 Matt Hardy (Extreme Rules) Loss
Jeff Hardy
It's one thing to call out a Finlay type for having an 0 and 5 WrestleMania record. It's another entirely when Jeff Hardy -- a four-time former World Champion who routinely steals the show -- fares just as well.
In some of the crazy tag team matches, it was anyone's guess who would win. Same deal with Money In The Bank at WM23. But to lose to his own brother Matt Hardy at WrestleMania 25 still makes no sense, to this very day! After all, Jeff was clearly the more "over" of the two Hardyz, had been World Champion mere months earlier, AND he was out for revenge against his bro.
Oh, and a fun fact: Wrestling's Antichrist was scheduled to be in WrestleMania 24's MITB ladder match -- he even qualified for it by winning a match against everyone's favorite foot fetishist Snitsky. It's likely Jeffy would have even won that year, fixing his crappy WM record for good and probably setting up for a title reign. But because Hardy was suspended by WWE for a drug violation, he was forced to not wrestle on the show and watch from the sidelines.
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
13 Legion of Doom and
Ahmed Johnson Loss
14 LOD 2000 and 13 other teams
(Tag team battle royale) Loss 15 D-Lo Brown, Test and 18 others
(Dark match battle royale) Loss
16 Hardcore Holly and 12 others
(Hardcore battle royale) Loss 17 The Goodfather, Val Venis
and Bull Buchanan Win
25 Billy & Chuck, Matt and Jeff
Hardy and The Dudley Boyz Loss
Ron Simmons
What does Ron Simmons, a former WCW World Champion and WWE Hall of Famer, have to say about his 1-5 record at The Showcase of the Immortals?
Well said, Ron. Well said.
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
15 Mankind Loss
16 Triple H, The Rock, Mankind Loss 17 Kane and Raven (Hardcore) Loss
19 The Undertaker (Handicap) Loss 20 John Cena Loss
21 Akebono (Sumo match) Loss
22 Carlito and Chris Masters Win
24 Floyd "Money" Mayweather Loss
25 John Cena and Edge Loss
26 John Morrison and R-Truth Win
27 The Corre Win
28 Cody Rhodes Win
29 The Shield Loss
The Big Show
One could argue that at six foot twenty, or whatever WWE's advertising The Big Show's height at these days, the guy probably doesn't need to do too many jobs. Yet here he is with a (snicker) 4 and 9 record at Mania.
Some of the losses were unavoidable; it's not like he was going to win a World Title match in the main or semi-main event, and it was quite obvious at WrestleMania 20 that the powers-that-be were about to push John Cena hype into overdrive.
But that doesn't explain losses to both a boxer and a sumo wrestler! They even turned his losing ways into a storyline during his feud with Cody Rhodes. Show better hope that after competing in this year's Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale that they don't book him next year against a wrestling bear!
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
16 Matt & Jeff Hardy, Edge and
Christian (Ladder Match) Loss 17 Matt & Jeff Hardy, Edge and
Christian (TLC) Loss
18 Billy & Chuck, The APA and
Matt & Jeff Hardy Loss
20 Rob Van Dam & Booker T,
Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade,
La Resistance Loss
The Dudley Boyz
How come The Dudley Boyz -- the most decorated tag team in history (even if you exclude their crap-ass TNA reigns) never got a single 'W' in the history of WrestleMania?
Maybe it was because Vince kept sticking them in friggin' three- and four-team matches! Nothing against the tag team dynasties that were Billy & Chuck or Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, but they probably could have taken the respective nights off and no one would have blinked.
Or, here's a brilliant idea: You have four teams? Book TWO tag team matches! Or eight singles matches! Or..... none at all, for that matter -- it wouldn't have made much difference in the grand scheme of things.
Any way you slice it, D-Von and Bubba Ray certainly have the single worst WrestleMania of any tag team in history. Wasssup?
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
17 Shane McMahon Loss 19 Hulk Hogan Loss
22 Shawn Michaels Loss
26 Bret Hart Loss
Vince McMahon
Look, no one ever suggested that Vince McMahon was this unstoppable legend, capable of ending The Undertaker's streak or anything. But still - 0 and 4 in a collection of street fights and "No Holds Barred" matches?
You'd figure that someone who always works No Holds Barred (and produced the atrocity of a movie by the same name) would know how to compete in one!
What's more, three quarters of Vinnie Mac's opponents weren't exactly top guys -- at least, at that point in their careers. Shane O' Mac was an executive that liked to take crazy leaps off the furniture; The Hulkster had already had 34 or his 68 back surgeries before squaring off against The Boss; and no offense, but The Hitman was recovering from a friggin' stroke.
WrestleMania Opponent(s) Result
5 The Twin Towers Loss 6 The Orient Express Loss
7 Haku and The Barbarian Win
8 Tito Santana Win
9 Tatanka Loss 10 Razor Ramon (Ladder Match) Loss 11 Diesel Loss
12 Bret Hart (Iron Man Match) Win
14 Stone Cold Steve Austin Loss
19 Chris Jericho Win
20 Chris Benoit and Triple H Loss
21 Kurt Angle Loss
22 Vince McMahon Win
23 John Cena Loss
24 Ric Flair Win
25 The Undertaker Loss
26 The Undertaker Loss
Shawn Michaels
Everyone calls Shawn Michaels "Mr. WrestleMania," but I have to respectfully disagree.
Sure, he's had the best matches almost every time he's been out there, and with 17 matches to his credit... there are few people who have even come close to the number of appearances he's had (with the exception of The Undertaker, and we all know what his track record is like). HBK even won the WWF World Championship in the lengthiest Mania match on record - no small task.
"If that's true, why are you calling the guy a... loser!?!" is what you must be asking yourselves, assuming you have a habit of talking to wrestling columns.
Look, I get that this is a controversial pick... but hear me out.Going 6 and 11 is, relatively speaking, hardly anything one should be bragging about. If WWE superstars were NFL franchises, The Heartbreak Kid would be the Cleveland Browns.
Sure, if you play the percentages, Michaels had a better day at the office than Tito Santana, Finlay or Big Show. But who would compare Mr. Sweet Chin Music to those guys? I'd be more inclined to put him in the same category as certified WWE Legends like Triple H (8 wins, 9 losses), Macho Man Randy Savage (7 wins, 4 losses), Stone Cold Steve Austin (5 wins, 2 losses), Bret Hart (7 and 7) or The Rock (5 and 5).
Agree/disagree with the Michaels pick? Let me know your thoughts in the Comments below...