Mike Rickard
Jock-Ass:
The Story Behind
NO HOLDS BARRED
Mike Rickard is a lifelong wrestling fan and retired bank robber as well as the author of the book Wrestling's Greatest Moments. He can be reached here and on Facebook.
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Conventional wisdom has it that the movie No Holds Barred was the first of many bad Hulk Hogan vehicles, a low budget film that flopped. Is this true or was there more to the film than people have attributed? Join me as I look at the film and its effect on professional wrestling.
Merriam Webster defines conventional wisdom as “the generally accepted belief, opinion, judgment, or prediction about a particular matter”. However anyone who has studied a particular field knows that conventional wisdom is sometimes (some would say often) based on an unexamined opinion.
Not much is known about the story behind No Holds Barred. You won’t find a 25th Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray with a documentary on the making of the film.
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Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan became the film’s executive producers. They also rewrote the script which is credited by the Writer’s Guild of America to Dennis Hackin. Hackin’s biggest claim to fame was for writing the script to two Clint Eastwood films, Bronco Billy and Heartbreak Ridge (an uncredited role according to the Internet Movie Database).
Hogan claims that the original screenplay was so bad that he and Vince McMahon had to write it. Given the finished product of No Holds Barred, I think it would be fascinating to see what Mr. Hackin turned in.
And last there is Tommy “Tiny” Lister Jr. who plays the monster fighter named Zeus. While No Holds Barred was supposed to propel Hogan into Hollywood, Lister actually ended up having more of a Hollywood career than Hogan. While Lister has been more of a supporting player, he has appeared in over 80 films, some of which have been blockbuster successes. “Tiny” would also dabble with a career in the squared circle facing Hogan in the WWF in 1989 and the following decade in World Championship Wrestling (WCW).
Finally, was the film a success at the box office? The film came in second at the box office during its opening weekend (finishing second to either Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade or Ghostbusters 2 depending on which source you check). There was definitely a curiosity factor in the film and as I (as well as other fans) can attest, the theaters were full during opening weekend. However bad reviews and bad word of mouth ensured that No Holds Barred had no lasting power. According to the Internet Movie Database, the film grossed $16,093,651 in the United States. By all estimates I’ve seen, the film barely broke even. According to Sex, Lies, and Headlocks, Vince McMahon was not happy to have had to pay Hogan a $1,000,000 fee to star in the film since the film barely made its money back (Although how can you blame Hogan given the fact that McMahon asked him step away from the New Line deal?).
One of the major sources of information I’ve found on the film was in Hogan’s autobiography Hollywood Hulk Hogan, a book that some have described in the words of the late, great Gorilla Monsoon as “a fountain of misinformation”. The other is the book Sex, Lies, and Headlocks, a reliable source in my opinion but one which spends only a couple of paragraphs on the movie. Rounding things out is the Internet Movie Database which contains some box office info on the film but not much else.
According to the Hulkster, No Holds Barred was originally developed by New Line Cinema as a vehicle for Hulk Hogan. The studio hoped to capitalize on Hogan’s mainstream success in professional wrestling, his successful appearance in Rocky III, and his TV guest appearances on shows such as Saturday Night Live, The Love Boat, and The A-Team. Hogan claims that when World Wrestling Federation (WWF) kingpin Vince McMahon got wind of this, he feared that Hogan might be lured away to Hollywood so he stepped in and offered to produce the movie himself, paying Hogan the same salary that New Line had offered him.
Hulk Hogan took time off from the WWF in 1988 to film No Holds Barred. As we discussed in The Enduring Legacy of Hulk Hogan, both Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan were taking a risk with the film. Not only was there the costs involved with making the film, but there was risk that Hogan’s absence would harm the WWF’s ticket sales.
Fortunately for Vince McMahon, the selection of Randy “Macho Man” Savage as Hogan’s temporary replacement proved to be successful. Savage held the belt while Hogan filmed No Holds Barred and McMahon developed an angle for Savage and Hogan to headline the next year’s Wrestlemania.
Rip Thomas: What's that SMELL?
Limo Driver: Dooo... dooo... doookie!
Rip Thomas: [disgusted] "Dookie"?
One can only imagine Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan congratulating themselves on such compelling dialogue. Picture McMahon with that annoying cackling laugh of his, patting himself on the back and contemplating his Oscar acceptance speech.
The story involves “Rip” Thomas, WWF champion. He’s a real American who loves his fans, takes care of his little brother Randy, and a man whose word is his bond. When a rival television network executive named Brell tries to get Rip to break his contract and come work for him, Rip refuses. Brell then tries underhanded means to sign Rip but is still unsuccessful.
WARNING: This article contains spoilers but let’s face it, are you really going to watch this movie?
Unfortunately, this and other scenes are the stuff that made it embarrassing to be a wrestling fan and embarrassing to be seen having paid money to see such a film. I remember seeing this film with my girlfriend, who in hindsight was an incredibly good sport in agreeing to see this movie (not to mention in being seen in public with me). I cringed throughout the film and wondered what non-wrestling fans thought of the film as well as what they thought of the wrestling fans that paid to see it.
The summer of 1989 was an epic year for moviegoers. I still remember how every week seemed to bring with it a new blockbuster release. Keep in mind that this was before the days of the Internet when you knew what movie was coming out when and usually had read the script online. Unless you subscribed to a trade like Variety, you only heard of films coming out through trailers and promotional posters.
Batman, Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, Back to the Future 2, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier and Ghostbusters 2 all offered the promise of epic entertainment. While some didn’t deliver, most of them did and it was a magical time to go to the movies.
With so much competition, No Holds Barred had its work cut out for it. The film almost didn’t get released. While Vince McMahon was savvy with pay-per-view (PPV) and TV, the film industry was new to him. He hadn’t counted on the difficulty of film distribution and only a last-minute (and costly) deal with New Line Cinema allowed him to get the movie into theaters.
Brell stumbles upon the idea of holding a tough man competition as an alternative to the WWF (which if you think about it, makes this film kind of visionary as it predicted the rise of the Ultimate Fighting Competition). When Brell discovers a brutal monster of a fighter named Zeus, his ratings takes off. Brell has Zeus challenge Rip to a match but Rip refuses, not wanting to sink himself to Brell’s level (undoubtedly a subtle attempt by McMahon to show how highbrow the WWF is compared to its competitors). However, when Zeus injures Rip’s brother Randy, Rip accepts Zeus’ challenge. In true Hogan.... er, I mean Rip fashion, he overcomes insurmountable odds and defeats Zeus. Along the way, Rip woos a lovely corporate spy to the ways of goodness and light.
What of the film itself? No Holds Barred isn’t the stuff of legend. The story takes the best clichés of 1980’s Rocky films and infuses them with the excessive toilet humor that anyone familiar with the WWF product can attribute to Vince McMahon. The film had the potential to be a good by-the-numbers sports/action movie but it just doesn’t live up to its potential. Just when you think the film is doing something good, it devolves into scatological humor. There are numerous instances of this in the film. For example, one scene has Rip confronting a limo driver who has set him up for a beating. When Rip confronts him, Rip is so intimidating that the limo driver poops his pants. The Internet Movie Database features the dialogue in the site’s film quotes:
I haven’t watched No Holds Barred since it came out in 1989. My memory of the film was that it was pretty bad so I wondered how it would be some twenty-six years later. After watching it again, I’ve formed the opinion that the film could have been something decent. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t click.
The film features just about every 80’s film cliché imaginable. It has the evil corporate executive, the all-American athlete, the wise trainer, the unstoppable monster opponent, the workaholic female who thinks she’s too busy for romance but finds her heart melted by the film’s hero, a training montage set to rock music (a concept which Team America: World Police parodied perfectly) and of course, the vulnerable character who suffers a brutal a beating in order to motivate our hero.
People may scoff at the idea of formulaic films but the truth is that Hollywood has beensuccessfully cranking them out ever since the place was called Hollywoodland. The difference between good formulaic films like Rocky III and IV and No Holds Barred is that the latter suffered from over the top characters like the TV executive Brell (whose frequent use of the word “jock-ass” unfortunately never made it into the Oxford Dictionary of English), excessive toilet humor which yields absolutely no laughs, and scenes which are predictable (even for a formulaic film).
There are some good moments in the film. One of them is Hogan’s acting. To my complete amazement, Hulk Hogan’s acting was decent. His charisma shines through and while his range may be limited (just as his range was in the ring), he does well with what he has. Had Hogan chosen better films to appear in, I believe that he could have had a career like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (who while he’s made some good movies, he’s also made some bad ones).
The film’s action scenes are decent. As you’d expect, Rip uses wrestling moves when he dispenses with the bad guys. The tough man contests that Zeus fights in are reminiscent of the hardcore style of the 90’s. The film’s climactic battle between Rip and Zeus is pretty entertaining and relies on the elements that made Hogan’s matches popular with WWF fans.
Unlike current WWE films which try to cast popular stars along the wrestlers, No Holds Barred doesn’t feature anyone with any claim to fame at the time. Joan Severance, best known for her run on the TV show Wiseguy along Kevin Spacey and her nude scene in See No Evil, Hear No Evil (which also came out in 1989) played Hogan’s love interest Samantha N. Moore (what a clever name huh?). Kurt Fuller (another actor who also appeared that summer-this time in Ghostbusters II) plays the evil network executive Mr. Brell who is determined to sign Rip at any cost. Mark Pelligrino rounds out the cast as Rip’s little brother Randy.
No Holds Barred is a watchable film if you like making fun of films a la Mystery Science Theater 3000. The film is definitely bad enough that you can have fun with it but not so bad that it’s painful to watch like Leonard Part 6.
Upon close analysis, No Holds Barred broke even at the box office, providing Hulk Hogan with enough of a push to get him into Hollywood but not enough to make it worth his while to leave the squared circle for good. The film ended up having more of an impact in the ring as Vince McMahon introduced WWF fans to the Zeus character in the ring as well as on the silver screen (a program we’ll look at in The Enduring Legacy of Hulk Hogan).