Pages: 343
Synopsis: The life and times of wrestling's biggest star.

 

I see now that I should have taken all of the bullets out of Arsenio's gun and said "Yes, I used steroids to bulk up." I should have come clean. It probably would have hurt my career but not as badly or for as long a time. So I screwed myself. 

 

It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I should have just been man enough to fess up, and if it ruined me then it ruined me. As it was, I almost ruined everything I had accomplished, and that was more important to me by far.    

 

This was the first of Hogan's two autobiographies, the one written before the divorce and his family falling apart. After reading this one, the hope was that he would be a little more honest with his Hulkamaniacs going forward.

 

In The Hulkster's defense, this book was published by World Wrestling Entertainment, thus it couldn't be a tell-all of everything that happens in the weird, wild and sometimes wacky world of professional wrestling. Plus, it's an autobiography of Hulk Hogan: the guy's such a legend that anything he writes will be interesting, and probably a best-seller to boot.

 

That said, he could have put more effort into Hollywood Hulk Hogan, which is the prototypical example of someone talking into a tape recorder (or, in this case, to Michael Jan Friedman) about their life without really thinking about how they want to be immortalized. 

 

For example, Hogan is so preoccupied with talking about how great he is that it overshadows any vulnerabilities he may have. Let's face it - the best biographies (wrestling or otherwise) show someone who is less than perfect -- except, I suppose,  if someone wrote a book about the late Curt Hennig. Aside from a few examples (such as the steroid one listed above), this rarely happens.

 

But my biggest beef here is that Hogan takes credit for basically everything that happened in the business, from turning professional wrestling into a pop culture phenomenon to "discovering" The Undertaker to building up guys like The Rock... hell, I think he even tried to take credit for Vince McMahon buying WCW!

 

Don't get me wrong: Hogan's contributions to wrestling are immense and shouldn't be understated: he just doesn't deserve credit for every last accomplishment.

 

The phenomenon that is Hulk Hogan extends beyond the ring, too. As a teenager, apparently few were as gifted as him in sports and even music. According to Hogan, when he went to Hollywood and filmed such classics as No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando and Three Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain, most of them were box-office smashes! And the ones that even he had to admit to were steaming piles of cinematic shit? Those didn't cost much to make, so.... no biggie.

 

That said, the book isn't all bad. Most of his stories are interesting at the very least. The chapters are in easy-to-read instalments, some only a page or two each, so you certainly don't have to invest much time in reading it. And throughout the story, the reader gets the impression that he really does love his wife Linda.... which is of course really sad when you see what's happened to them since.

 

(On a lighter note: I discovered many lines in this book that were actually part of a Complete and Utter Bulldog "interview" with Hogan a year or so ago.... one of my favorite episodes to date, actually. I guess he was reading sections of this for a books-on-tape version or something, which was then used for a Hogan soundboard. I'm glad I finally know where "I'll meet you tonight at the Red Onion" comes from.)

 

Rating: Transitional Champion. I only ranked it that high because the Hulkster has a great life story to tell, but this one is clearly revisionist history.