Pages: 192
Synopsis: The first of two books written by the WWE Hall of Famer.

 

I'm in the ring with a dog suit on that was made for a guy who wore a medium suit. It felt like it was made up of carpet, and I couldn't breathe in that bastard. The end of the match came, and I took off out of the ring. Mind you, I was already blown up. I hadn't wrestled in two years, and it was a long way from the ring to the dressing room. I saw Matilda coming behind me with Davey Boy Smith. But she wasn't running fast. Davey was trying to force her to run.

 

I couldn't go any more. I fell down in the aisle. I told Davey to let her jump me right there. Matilda got on top of me and started sniffing the dog suit. Obviously, she smelled another dog on it, because she began to hump me. She wouldn't bite me, just hump me.

I got up, walked back to the dressing room, and told the boys backstage, "Don't worry about the payoff. I already got screwed."

 

 

It's hard to find too many wrestling fans from the 80's that don't remember Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, or if you prefer, The Weasel. He was as much a staple of the rock and wrestling era as Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Mean Gene, and anabolic steroids.

 

At his absolute peak, Heenan was not only a great talker but a fantastic worker to boot. Seeing him get clobbered by Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, or even Greg Gagne, it's obvious he was one of the premier bump-takers in the business, despite not having any formal wrestling training.

 

Heenan's first book skims through his 40-year career with the quick wit fans expect from the Brain. And yet, unlike many other wrestling biographies, Heenan isn't overly malicious towards those he may have "heat" with in the past. In fact, one of his least favorite experiences was his stint as an announcer in WCW, where he freely admits he was well-paid to be ignored. 

 

Although more detail would have been fantastic, Heenan shares hilarious stories involving the likes of Vince McMahon, Baron Von Raschke, King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant.

 

Sadly, the book ends with Heenan being diagnosed with cancer, a battle he is still apparently fighting to this day. I pull for the guy, not only because of the great memories he provided me as a kid, but because he's one of wrestling's best all-around personalities.

 

Overall Rating: The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be. I've been searching for the sequel "Chairshots and Other Obstacles" for some time now, because the first book left me wanting more.